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clean limericks

Great Grandfather at Waterloo

Fought solidly all the day through;

He slashed and he hacked,

Through bodies tight-packed,

And managed to reach Platform Two.

(Frank Richards)

I’m glad pigs can’t fly”, said young Sellers

(He’s one of those worrying fellers).

“For if they could fly,

They’d shit in the sky,

And we’d all have to carry umbrellas.”

A flea and a fly in a flue

Were imprisoned, so what could they do?

Said the fly: “Let us flee”

Said the flea: “Let us fly!”

So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

There was a young lady called Etta,

Who fancied herself in a sweater;

Three reasons she had:

Keeping warm was not bad,

But the other two reasons were better.

There once was a young man from Leeds

Who swallowed a packet of seeds

In less than an hour

His nose was a flower

And his hair was a big bunch of  weeds

(contributed by Gavin Moloney)

Send me a good limerick and I’ll publish it here!